Since i am damn free (when it's like 4am in the morning), i will type a 2nd post and make it a long one. It will be very random, so craps are in high content here!!!!

I don't know why, i feel very empty in terms of emotionally. No one has ever fulfilled my emotional needs. Or should I say no one has really walk into my heart. I may be easygoing but it is diffcult to walk inside my heart, even my blood-related family members never walk into my heart. Even as the owner of my heart, I don't know the way to open the heavy lock on the doors of my heart. I been waiting for just one person to truly walk inside my heart. Maybe when that someone appeared, I will not feel so lonely anymore. I feel like singing a song.

Welcome to my life by Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

This song totally fits in MY life. (Thanks, Simple Plan!)I always wish to sing this song to everyone in my life. If you want to know how my life, listen to this song, it's EXACTLY the same. It hurts until you don't feel pain anymore because you are too used to the pain. It is the most saddening thing. I got another song that I want to sing to everyone in my life.

Your Love Is A Lie by Simple Plan (Why do they make such meaningful and good songs? I envy them.)

I fall asleep by the telephone
It's 2 O'clock and I'm waiting up alone
Tell me where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss, but it just don't feel the same
Cause I can feel that you're gone

I can't bite my tongue forever
While you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories
But don't take me for a fool

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know
Your love is just a lie
(Lie)
It's nothing but a lie
(Lie)

You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that i trust you
And do you think about me when he touches you?
Could you be more obscene?

So dont try to say you're sorry
Or try to make it right
Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late.

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know,
Your love is just a lie
(Lie)
It's nothing but a lie
(Lie)
You're nothing but a lie

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know
Your love is just a lie
(Lie
I know you're nothing but a lie
(Lie)
Lie
(Lie)
Lie
(Lie)
Lie

Your love is just a lie

Most of the time, i would always wait for my friends to msg me back when I am looking for them so that's why, I always playing MIA game cos I want to get back on them. I even tried not to msg them and see if they will contact me on their own or not. Then, when I put them in the highest place of ranking of the most important aspects in my life. I will always find out there are someone else more impt to them. They always lie to me and said I am their only best friend or they don't have any other friends. They can always look straight into my eyes and lie to me. For examples, going out with friends I know and not telling me (if u don't want me to go jus say it.), say u r not friends with the ppl i dislike but still hang out with them (i really don't mind if u jus tell me the truth, becos i cannot control yr social circle), find me as a company just becos there's no one else u can turn to (if u really want me as a friend company, i don't mind, but i don't want to be treated as a spare tool or something), left me out when u have other things or friends with u (i rather u tel me don't go, then throw me at one side), when i am in need, jus leave me to die(does friends even do tat?), when others said bad things about me, jus keep quiet and think it's not yr business.

Sometimes, it's really funny because I will wonder why I have friends when I felt tat none of them is near the stage of friends.

The next song is for my mum....

Perfect by Simple Plan (Really? Why are their songs so good!)

Hey mum look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I am not my mother's perfect daughter anymore. I have disappointed her again and again. I can't be perfect, never will I be perfect again. Everything I want to say is in this song. I AM NEVER GONNA BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE!

Next song:

God must hate me by Simple Plan

Last night I just wanted to have fun
To go out with my friends
I took my dad's car
I never thought he would find out
But I crashed in a wall
Man I'm dead
I guess it's no use
I'm screwing up ever little thing I ever try to do
I was born to lose
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

God must hate me
He cursed me for eternity
God must hate me
Maybe you should pray for me
I'm breaking down and you can't save me
I'm stuck in hell
And I wanna go home

Last night I had to study for this test
I forgot man I'm dead
And now my brain is bursting out of my head
I can't think I can't breathe
Once again

I guess it's no use
I'm screwing up every little thing I ever try to do
I'm born to lose
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

God Must hate me
He cursed me for eternity
God Must hate me
Maybe you should pray for me
I'm breaking down and you can't save me
I'm stuck in hell and
I wanna go home

So what in the world am I supposed to do?
I never did anything to you
So can't you find something else to do?

God Must hate me
He cursed me for eternity
God Must hate me
Maybe you should pray for me
I'm breaking down and you can't save me
I'm stuck in hell and
I wanna go home
(God must hate me)
I wanna go home
(God must hate me)
I wanna go home
(God must hate me)
I wanna go home
(God must hate me)
I wanna go home
(God must hate me)
You can't save me
God Must hate me now

I agreed, GOD must hate me. It really does hate me so he gave me so much sufferings!!!! GOD, what did i do to you?

Lastly, a song to conclude everything.....

Shut up by Simple Plan!!!!

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you

You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time
To criticize me

It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right

It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do

You think you're special
But I know, and I know
And I know, and we know
That you're not

You're always there to point
Out my mistakes
And shove them in my face

It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down
Is gonna bring me down

Will never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be
And don't try to tell me what's right for me
Don't tell me what I should do
I don't wanna waste my time
I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Won't bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Won't bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

SHUT UP and let me have some peace, can? I am tried of this life already.

*I will may not be blogging until after one month cos i will be working. Ahhh.... I feel so much better after singing and screaming. Haha.