No one truly noes how i feel. No one noes wat i have been through. No one was there for me. In fact, i m most the lonely in tis world. Friends whom i can't share my darkest secrets with becos i didn have the courage to tel them. I m afraid if i say it out, they would throw me aside. They would not want me anymore. Most people treat me like a ball, even my own family,when i was needed i was called and used but when i m not needed no matter how bad i have rot, not even a single person cared. When i need concern, no one was there to care about me. Is a single sentence;"Are you alright?" with concern so hard to say. Everyone have difficulties in life, some are realli serious like disability while some are so minor like the relationship between friends. I m not saying it's not important but compare to so many things in the world, do you still think tat yr prob is a big one? Think about it maybe you are angry at your friend for not being able to go shopping with you but do you noe tat may be tat friend is having some illness tat needs to goes to the doctor often? Instead of asking how he/she have been, you just played the role of a spoilt brat, throwing yr tempers at tat person. Is tat person wrong in anyway? Does tat person wanted to be to be sick? If u have a conscience, do you think wat you have done is right? If you still think tat i m right becos tat person might not be having a serious problem like cancer or anything but think about it, you are having a perfectly good body or at the veri least, you do not need to see the same doctor for the same reason often.People are not born for people in tis world. The reason tat these people met is called fate and the reason they grew to love each other was by being there for one another, concern and love. If you have never put your heart into it, don expect to get anything in return.
There are stupid and clever people in tis world. I didn say it in terms of IQ level. Stupid people are those who keep throwing love to their friends, they didn wan anything bac and even if their friends throw them aside when they are not needed, they would not feel sad or anything and when they are needed, they would be so happy like they won a million dollars. They would do stupid things tat their friends told them to do, real stupid things like stealing. These are people who are truly the works of the stupidity.
Now, the clever type. These people are born clever, just that they just use it in the wrong way and these people they know that they are clever and they totally love themselves *in the back, of course* These are people who make use of other people for popularity, money or jus friends. They never think that they are wrong in any way. These people are veri good in their acting skills but onli those realli good at it are flawless while the others, one or two people would have seen through their masks but nobody will believe them until they have saw it for themselves. These people are also veri good in making use of people, the higher level ones can even make use of all sorts of people. They are also the most ruthless people in tis world, when they don call you a friend anymore, no matter how much you do you will never get back with that person like before but onli truly stupid people would want to get back with these people. These two groups of people would not get friends in the end, especially the clever ones. The stupid ones maybe jus didn met the right people while the clever ones are completely useless in tis world cause they onli noes how to hurt people. I met these types of people before and i have even acted these two roles before. For the the clever people type, i have onli been like tat for one year, when i m primary four. I m swearing here, ok? I made the same few friends paid for my recess for almost one year *they are doin it willingly*. The stupid time........ Let's jus forget about it. :P
Confession Time!
To tel the truth, right? I never treated anyone with real feelings if i have i would not be the loneliest people in tis world anymore. I didn have the courage. I would wake up in the day and say i will treat the people around me well but the next minute i may be shouting at my sister for taking my stuff. It takes alot, alot of determination to do something. For me, it is jus simply one word, HARD!!! Loving someone isn't easy in any way, you may be thinking of doing it right but if you are onli thinking, wat's the use? I m not some rich kid whom can bring friends using money and i m not some superstar whom can provided my friends with fame. So, i always wished for true friends to be around me. I don noe why people like to badmouth about people at the back and still putting on a fake smile when they see them. Why can't we jus tel the person i dislike you for watever reasons and the person whom is being dislike would jus take it and stop appearing in front of that person. It may be bad tis way but i rather it be tis way for me becos my fake smiles are real fake, when i look at myself in the mirror, i almost vomited a thousand times. Wanted to be loved is not wrong, don provide love for love is WRONG!